February 2006 Newsletter
SAFETY TIPS AND HINTS FOR SHOPPING WITH KIDS
1. While shopping with small child/ren, always be sure to be extra vigilant at all times keeping them within your sight. It only takes a couple of seconds to be distracted and have them slip from arm’s reach or out of sight.
2. Set shopping rules with them… i.e. maintain a distance like 8, 10, 12 etc. feet (make sure they understand what that distance is). Establish another rule that they must always be able to see you, another parent, designated adult, older sibling or friend. Set a rule that they should never go beyond a 3 second (1-2-3, or A-B-C) distance without being able to see you. Repeating 1-2-3 or A-B-C = 3 seconds is a good verbal reminder and exercise to have them use.
3. If you are separated, establish ‘safe’ places to go back to and wait to meet up again. Keep it simple, the first ‘safe’ place could be the last place you both saw each other. Additionally, teach them what to do if they cannot find you there, where else to go. Tell them first find a mother with children or any woman and let them know they are lost. Most store employees, whether it be a grocery store or retail store have some kind of identifying badge, uniform or vest of some sort. They can ask an employee where a register, cashier, etc. is, and have them page you. Take the time to make sure they know about going to a cashier, register or other established ‘safe’ places, where they are and what they look like. ‘Safe’ places can be places like checkout, cashiers, deli, cosmetic counter, etc where store employees will most likely be.
4. Make sure your children are clear about not letting a stranger take them anywhere or go with them for any reason, like helping to look for someone or something. Teach them that if they feel ‘funny’, as in ‘a bad gut feeling’ (with younger children we refer to it as the ‘Uh-Oh’ feeling, a feeling that something is ‘WRONG’), then something about that person or situation is WRONG! Make sure they know to always trust and honor the ‘Uh-Oh’ feeling.
5. If approached by a stranger and the ‘Uh-Oh’ feeling alarm goes off, they should yell or say loudly “You’re not my Daddy/Mommy, get away!”, and run to a designated ‘safe’ place or ‘safe’ person.
6. Establish a family secret code word that only you, your children and designated ‘safe’ adults know. If a stranger who may be trying to ‘lure’ them away does not know the word if the child asks what the secret code is, they should quickly put distance between them and go to a ‘safe’ designated place.
7. Never let them go to the bathroom by themselves in a mall or store bathroom. If you do, stand by the door and monitor anyone going in or coming out. Don’t be afraid to rush into the bathroom to check on your child/ren if you feel something is not right (i.e. a bad feeling about someone going in, child too long in the bathroom, etc.) Many stores have family restrooms now; use those if possible. Otherwise, as much as it may be a hassle, bring them into a restroom with you and wait. (Maybe it is an inconvenience or bother to others, but you can monitor your child/ren and know they are safe.)
8. You never need to feel that you have to justify any of your actions in promoting your and your child/ren’s safety.
9. When you are finished shopping and are going to your car, use store help/assistance if offered, or even ask for help/assistance. Load your children into the car last: if you should be car jacked, let it be only a car jacking and not a kidnapping.
10. Establish your shopping rules before shopping, rehearsing the rules in a game format. Play ‘What If…’ and rehearse these with your children so that if something happens they have a ‘clear, memorized and rehearsed’ roll play mind set they will remember just in case.
11. Establishing shopping rules and rehearsing them with your children will help to make shopping less stressful and a lot safer for everyone. Remember to praise your children and thank them for being ‘good’ while shopping. Kids will be kids and are not perfect, but rather are works in progress and continually learning. Always praise what they did right, and tell them that for the next shopping trip we need to work on ______ and be better at ______ (whatever it is they need to work on). Each time your shopping trips will become a little bit easier and more fun.
Written by Mark C. Spencer, M.A., S.A.F.E.
© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.
1. While shopping with small child/ren, always be sure to be extra vigilant at all times keeping them within your sight. It only takes a couple of seconds to be distracted and have them slip from arm’s reach or out of sight.
2. Set shopping rules with them… i.e. maintain a distance like 8, 10, 12 etc. feet (make sure they understand what that distance is). Establish another rule that they must always be able to see you, another parent, designated adult, older sibling or friend. Set a rule that they should never go beyond a 3 second (1-2-3, or A-B-C) distance without being able to see you. Repeating 1-2-3 or A-B-C = 3 seconds is a good verbal reminder and exercise to have them use.
3. If you are separated, establish ‘safe’ places to go back to and wait to meet up again. Keep it simple, the first ‘safe’ place could be the last place you both saw each other. Additionally, teach them what to do if they cannot find you there, where else to go. Tell them first find a mother with children or any woman and let them know they are lost. Most store employees, whether it be a grocery store or retail store have some kind of identifying badge, uniform or vest of some sort. They can ask an employee where a register, cashier, etc. is, and have them page you. Take the time to make sure they know about going to a cashier, register or other established ‘safe’ places, where they are and what they look like. ‘Safe’ places can be places like checkout, cashiers, deli, cosmetic counter, etc where store employees will most likely be.
4. Make sure your children are clear about not letting a stranger take them anywhere or go with them for any reason, like helping to look for someone or something. Teach them that if they feel ‘funny’, as in ‘a bad gut feeling’ (with younger children we refer to it as the ‘Uh-Oh’ feeling, a feeling that something is ‘WRONG’), then something about that person or situation is WRONG! Make sure they know to always trust and honor the ‘Uh-Oh’ feeling.
5. If approached by a stranger and the ‘Uh-Oh’ feeling alarm goes off, they should yell or say loudly “You’re not my Daddy/Mommy, get away!”, and run to a designated ‘safe’ place or ‘safe’ person.
6. Establish a family secret code word that only you, your children and designated ‘safe’ adults know. If a stranger who may be trying to ‘lure’ them away does not know the word if the child asks what the secret code is, they should quickly put distance between them and go to a ‘safe’ designated place.
7. Never let them go to the bathroom by themselves in a mall or store bathroom. If you do, stand by the door and monitor anyone going in or coming out. Don’t be afraid to rush into the bathroom to check on your child/ren if you feel something is not right (i.e. a bad feeling about someone going in, child too long in the bathroom, etc.) Many stores have family restrooms now; use those if possible. Otherwise, as much as it may be a hassle, bring them into a restroom with you and wait. (Maybe it is an inconvenience or bother to others, but you can monitor your child/ren and know they are safe.)
8. You never need to feel that you have to justify any of your actions in promoting your and your child/ren’s safety.
9. When you are finished shopping and are going to your car, use store help/assistance if offered, or even ask for help/assistance. Load your children into the car last: if you should be car jacked, let it be only a car jacking and not a kidnapping.
10. Establish your shopping rules before shopping, rehearsing the rules in a game format. Play ‘What If…’ and rehearse these with your children so that if something happens they have a ‘clear, memorized and rehearsed’ roll play mind set they will remember just in case.
11. Establishing shopping rules and rehearsing them with your children will help to make shopping less stressful and a lot safer for everyone. Remember to praise your children and thank them for being ‘good’ while shopping. Kids will be kids and are not perfect, but rather are works in progress and continually learning. Always praise what they did right, and tell them that for the next shopping trip we need to work on ______ and be better at ______ (whatever it is they need to work on). Each time your shopping trips will become a little bit easier and more fun.
Written by Mark C. Spencer, M.A., S.A.F.E.
© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.