November 2006 Newsletter

AN INTERNET QUIZ

This month KSEG is going to offer you a short quiz on some important 'need to know' internet statistics. As we enter the holiday season that means school vacation and lots of downtime for your children, spending time at home and friends' homes or just hanging out. It's not just important that you monitor your child's use of the internet, it's essential! Unknowingly, as safe as our children think they may be on the internet, websites (like MySpace and Xango) and chat rooms make them extremely vulnerable to predators. For example, your child's friend can innocently give out some contact information - a home address, place of work, after school activity, school they attend, group they belong to, place they hang out, etc. - which would enable someone to track them down very easily.

I recommend, if you haven't done so already, that you watch Dateline's "To Catch A Predator" series next time it is broadcast (Friday evenings) and see what potential dangers exist that can compromise your child’s safety via the internet. It will give you some incredible insight and is quite informative as to how predators operate and some of their tactics.

INTERNET QUIZ


1) ____ percent of teens between the ages of 12 and 17 use and are on the internet regularly.

a. 23%
b. 35%
c. 54%
d. 87%

2) ____ percent of teens are not online due to either a bad experience, are concerned about internet safety or are just not interested.

a. 5%
b. 13%
c. 20%
d. 46%

3) K-12 students spend ____ percent more time on the internet than with friends.

a. 5%
b. 10%
c. 15%
d. 20%

4) ____ percent of all teens have visited inappropriate places on the internet and ____ percent have gone to these types of sites more than twice.

a. 10%-- 5%
b. 15%--10%
c. 35%--10%
d. 50%--20%

5) ____ percent of teens say that they do things on the internet that they wouldn't want their parents to know about.

a. 18%
b. 23%
c. 45%
d. 64%

6) ____ percent of teens that have been asked either to keep their internet friends a secret, to meet an "internet friend", or have actually gone to meet the stranger face to face.

a. 6%
b. 12%
c. 22%
d. 30%

7) ____ percent of teens are online more than 8 hours per week.

a. 3%
b. 5%
c. 11%
d. 24%

8) ____ percent of teens like to be alone while surfing the internet.

a. 15%
b. 28%
c. 35%
d. 54%

9) ____ percent of teens believe their parents would either express concern, restrict their internet use, or take away their computer if they knew they were surfing the internet.

a. 6%
b. 17%
c. 26%
d. 37%

10) ____ percent of teens trust the people they chat with on the internet.

a. 15%
b. 22%
c. 31%
d. 40%



Today's technology sometimes vastly outpaces our ability to keep up with it. In the dash to go high-tech during the past two decades, parents have given their kids 'cars' ( i.e., computers) and an International Highway (i.e., the internet) and allowed them to go driving - usually alone and for lengthy periods of time - without any safety lessons or cyber seatbelt. The realities of the internet mandate that everyone - young and mature - be made aware of the dangers and responsibilities. But, it is especially imperative that everything possible be done to ensure and safeguard the integrity of our children's lives online. Every parent must become aware of the cyber world in which their children live, play, socialize, and navigate. They also need to become aware of the online dangers that pose threats to our children. Unfortunately, the "Bad Guys" literally have at their fingertips the means and ability to reach our children even within the sanctity of our own homes, as they are very computer savvy. Since the internet is here to stay, what can we parents do to protect our children?

Well, we can educate ourselves and create safety strategies just as we do in all other aspects of our daily lives. To help you, KSEG has created the SAFE KIDZ KIT. Four important software programs are included as one part of the important safety information in the kit, to help you monitor and track your child's internet usage, learn internet buzz words, etc. This allows you to understand the language kids are using and be as informed as possible as a parent, to help make your child as "Internet Predator Proof" as possible. The kit also includes an important internet contract for both you and your child to agree upon and sign.

Be sure to visit our products page and order a SAFE KIDZ KIT for each of your children. Our Kit contains all the necessary important information and tools every parent needs to help create both a safer home environment and safer kids. We just made the job of child safety a whole lot easier for you!

Contact us either by email, glenn@wseg.org, or call us at 1-800-318-8037 to book a KSEG Program near you. Our program can be held by your group or organization as a fundraiser too! Ask us for details.



ANSWERS: 1-a, 2-b, 3-b, 4-b, 5-d, 6-d, 7-c, 8-d, 9-d, 10-d. How did you do?

Source: Pew Internet & American Life Project and other studies on teens ages 12-17, Nov. 2004

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

Make it a point to visit my new weekly safety podcast program, the "MR. SAFETY SHOW", at www.SafetyMattersRadio.com, committed to bringing you the best and latest safety information available. Learn effective, common-sense safety tips, everyday safety strategies, important 'need to know' safety information, enjoy interviews with a variety of safety experts and much more.

Mark Spencer, M.A., S.A.F.E.
© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved

October 2006 Newsletter

THOUGHTS ABOUT RECENT NATIONAL EVENTS

Last month brought some of the most deadly and disturbing assaults against children since the shootings at Columbine High School 7 years ago. I live in Boulder, Colorado less than an hour from the towns of Littleton (Columbine H.S.) and Bailey, having even recently driven by Platte Canyon High School days after the shooting. These recent events and others such as the Pennsylvania Amish School incident affected me, like most people deeply. They are extremely disturbing, especially to us parents, and I constantly ask myself, “Could these tragic events have been avoided or possbily averted with education that creates a greater sense of personal safety awareness?” I believe we can make a difference and that is why I am so passionate about my S.A.F.E programs.

From news reports, we learned that numerous students/faculty at Platte High School had noticed a man in a Jeep parked outside the school for several days, yet no one took any action to notify law enforcement to investigate! This small mountain town (pop. 9236), where most people either know each other or know of each other, thought that this type of thing “doesn’t happen in our town”. Who in their wildest imaginings would think a crazed individual would wreak such havoc and tragedy? Unfortunately, people now realize and understand that it DOES happen in small towns, even their own small town.

THREE IMPORTANT RULES

RULE # 1

The plain and simple truth is that crime and tragedies can and do happen everywhere, small town, large town, city, country, etc. Rule #1 in our S.A.F.E. program is that: “It can happen to you. That doesn’t mean it will, but it can”. Now does this mean that we live in constant fear? Absolutely not! But we cannot ignore the fact that we must be proactive and learn safety strategies to better protect ourselves in the case of any emergency situation and where our lives may be threatened.

RULE # 2

Rule #2 in our S.A.F.E. program is "The ‘Bad Guys’ can look like anybody else --- your neighbor, your boyfriend, your husband, the guy you work with, etc." So we must pay attention to the guys in our surroundings and not override our 'gut feeling' about someone simply because they don't look like a 'Bad Guy' to us. Remember that many women lost their lives to Ted Bundy simple because they didn't believe a good looking guy like him would harm them!

RULE # 3

The ‘Bad Guys’ are always planning their next attack and their next victim. It was theorized that the gunman in Bailey may have been collecting the names of young girls from sites like MySpace.com or chat rooms and then targeting them. This is typical predator behavior and it may or may not be true in this situation. The fact is that we know this individual, like all predators, was planning his next attack and looking for his next victims. This is why it is so critical that we create safety strategies, because the Bad Guys have their strategies to harm us. Rule #3 in our S.A.F.E. Program is, “We need to develop safety strategies for 'What If Scenarios', think about the things we don't want to think about, and plan for the things we don’t ever want to have happen, because they possibly could happen to us." We have fire drills in schools, spare tires and seat belts in our cars, life boats and life preservers on ships, etc. all designed to be used in the case of an emergency situation. What are your current personal safety strategies?

THE BAD GUYS ARE HERE TO STAY

With over 500,000+ registered sex offenders and hundreds of thousands literally under the radar who have never been caught and not in the system, we cannot live like ostriches with our heads in the sand and ignore this element in our society. The fact is that as much as we would like to believe differently, there is a very ‘evil’ element that exists in our society that targets our innocent children. A recent book by ex-FBI profiler, negotiator, author and child safety advocate, Clint Van Zandt, “Facing Down Evil”, talks about how he dealt with this evil element during his years in the FBI. We must as parents be very Pro-Active about helping to make our children as safe as possible by raising our safety awareness through continual learning and education. With increased safety awareness we begin to stack the odds more in our favor of being less likely to be chosen as a victim and able to better handle ourselves if we do find ourselves in a threatening situation. As I mentioned in an earlier newsletter, every parent in the animal kingdom teaches their offspring about predators. Predators are cunning, slick, manipulative, and masterfully effective at getting their prey.

TV’s “Dateline” has an ongoing series called ‘To Catch A Predator,’ that has assisted http://www.pervertedjustice.com/ and various California sheriffs’ Departments to catch over 179 men. The common element for all these men of varying backgrounds, levels of education, ages, etc. is that they are very real; they exist and are constantly on the prowl actively seeking out new victims. In a perfect world, these individuals would not exist and in a near perfect world, we would be able to take them off the street and keep them away from our children. The reality is that that we live in an imperfect world and they ARE prevelant and very actively searching out new victims daily.

WHAT CAN WE DO?

Our best defense, then, is to be proactive --- raise our safety awareness and be vigilant 24/7 about our safety. If just one person of the several who saw the stranger in the Jeep that was parked for days outside Platte High School in Bailey, Colorado had a call placed to the police to check out this guy out, this tragic killing might have avoided and 16-year-old Emily might be alive today. We will never know for sure, but the fact is that no preventative action was taken. We need to be constantly aware of our surroundings and be prepared to act in the defense of our personal safety at all times. We need to constantly monitor our surroundings and notice things out of place, out of the ordinary or people we get a bad feeling about (like a strange man and vehicle parked outside our school for several days!). Our intuition is constantly signaling us, but all too often we disregard these ‘gut feelings’ and fail to take action. We simply can no longer do this.

Now, out of all this recent tragedy what positive comes from the loss of precious young lives? Well in Bailey, they started a foundation called: “I Love You Guys”, the last text message from Emily to her parents and adopted a program called: Do A Random Act of Kindness for Emily. People are embracing the loss of this 16-year-old girl and seeing what positive changes they can make on her behalf. In her death, she will touch so many people and in so many positive ways. From the Amish Community, we learn that these people not only embrace forgiveness, but live it with the kind actions they demonstrated to the crazed man’s family who too were victims. Even our president called together a committee to see what we need to do to make our schools safer.

We cannot get the ‘Bad Guys’ off the street as easily as we can learn how to live more safely. We need to teach our children how to be empowered in a world that could easily teach them only to be fear-based. The Heart of our Kidz Program and our ‘Safe Kidz Kit’ is to help make our children as predator free as possible, with safety skills and strategies to protect them when there are no ‘Safe Adults’ around. Through extensive research, we created a comprehensive program with skill sets, games and even internet safety software to make our children as safe as possible. All of our trainers and staff at KSEG are passionate in helping to protect our children and empower them with the very best non-fear-based safety skill sets available. Help us to help you and let us come and do a live, interactive program. At the very least, consider purchasing a ‘Safe Kidz Kits’ online for each of your children and begin teaching your children how to live safer.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts this month on how these recent events affected me.

A SPECIAL NOTE ABOUT HALLOWEEN

Halloween is here again! I recommend that you visit our October 2005 Newsletter in the archives (visit http://www.kseg.org/Newsletter/2005/10/october-2005-newsletter.html) for tips on how to have a fun and SAFE Halloween this year. Happy Halloween from everyone at KSEG.

Contact us to book a KSEG Program near you (which can be given as a fundraiser too!) and/or be sure to purchase a ‘Safe Kidz Kit’ from our product page for your child/ren.

Have a great school year and remember to email me, Mark Spencer (mark@kseg.org) with any questions, ideas or safety stories you would like to share. We would love to share safety testimonials each month with all our subscribers.

Mark Spencer, M.A., S.A.F.E.

© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.

September 2006 Newsletter

SAFETY THOUGHTS TO PONDER

Most parents have probably had the thought that their own childhood was a lot simpler and a lot safer than their children’s. The fact is that it actually was simpler and safer in many ways. The 'Information Superhighway' was still under construction, and as a result, information flowed into our lives much more slowly --- and there was less of it. I grew up in the TV generation, and my sons, now both in their 20’s are a product of the video game generation. During the last couple of decades, we experienced the introduction and explosion of cell phone and internet use. Little did we know the impact this information age would have on us all, in terms of personal safety. Children are vastly different from us in the ways they negotiate daily life, in their use of everything electronic and in the way in which they process information. Another major effect of the electronic invasion is how easily accessible each one of us is via the internet and cell phones (forget about pagers… but there is text messaging).

VIGILANCE IS KEY

As a result, we all need to be more vigilant about our own as well as our family’s personal safety. All parents without fail, even in the animal kingdom, must teach their offspring about predators and how to protect themselves in their environment. Internet predators now can reach our children in the sanctity of our own homes! Although my parents talked to me about being safe, it just didn’t seem as big an issue or as important when we were kids. Maybe there weren’t as many 'Bad Guys' out there, maybe they weren’t that visible or maybe we just didn’t know about them. Life seemed a lot safer when I was a kid growing up in the 50’s and 60’s. Today we all live very hectic and fast-paced lives and our exposure to potential crime situations is much greater. What remains constant, though, is basic human behavior and the fact that a percentage of the population is and always will be deviant and dangerous. In the U.S., our crime statistics are reflective of this problem with crime on the increase in all forms.

PREDATORY BEHAVIOR

When you study predatory behavior in the animal kingdom, you can clearly see how they choose their victims. It is no different for humans. A lion or wolf, for example, studies its potential prey, observes its behavior and then chooses its victim. If its prey is part of a pack, the lead of the pack is never chosen. The predator looks for a slower moving, physically weaker animal, one that looks and acts more defenseless, exhibits fear, etc. In humans we refer to the manner in which one carries themselves as their ‘demeanor’. A shark is considered to be the master of all predators. It has earned its reputation because it seems to always be successful in getting its prey. A shark will test its prey before an attack, circling its prey, observing and then physically bump it, sizing up the situation. Once the shark has accumulated its 'data', it decides whether to attack or not. Human predators have similar ritualistic 'bumping' behavior. Usually it is a verbal bump with test questioning as common and simple as talking about the weather, asking the time of day, offering an unsolicited comment or compliment, etc. With Children, there are eight common lures, like asking a child for help in finding a lost puppy, or giving them unsolicited compliments. What a predator looks for in a potential victim, is someone who is putting off a 'vibe' of fear, is unaware of their surroundings, presenting a demeanor and behaviors that say, “I am an easy target”.

PROJECTING A 'TOUGH' DEMEANOR

In crowded situations like buses, subways, bars, etc. where someone is looking for their next victim, why is one person chosen over another? The selection process is far from random. If we are fearful, those are the 'vibes' we will project. If we are sending out confident 'tough' demeanor vibes, we are less likely to be chosen. So, is it that simple to just project a tough demeanor to keep the Bad Guys at bay? Well, there are NO absolutes in the world, but we can stack the safety deck in our favor. A friend of mine who is an ex-prison guard with over 8 years experience shared some valuable and interesting insights he learned from prisoners he encountered over the years. One felon said he would wait in an alley and choose his next victim as randomly as selecting every 9th person who walked by. If number 9' s demeanor demonstrated a confidence or 'don’t mess with me' kind of attitude then he would simply pass and pick number 10. This same friend, who had no martial arts experience, gave off a 'vibe' he did, a confidence and an impression that he could handle himself if physically attacked. The collective perception by the prisoners was a 'Don’t mess with me' demeanor. Now, the most surprising thing about this friend, is that his inherent nature is very peaceful and mild mannered. His demeanor however clearly projected a 'vibe' of "you probably don’t want to risk messing with me".

IMPRESSIONS

Years ago, working as a recruiter I routinely coached applicants on how to interview and taught them what to do to make a good initial impression. One of my favorite quotes is: "You never get a second chance to make a second impression." Human behavior dictates that we typically take someone at face value initially while we gather more information either reinforcing that initial impression or changing it. Now, when first encountering someone, if there is any incongruence between a their words, their actions, their body language, etc., your intuition or 'gut feeling' will alert you that something is wrong. (NOTE: Always listen to and follow your intuition, ALWAYS!) A key segment we teach in our Children’s Safety Program, is to always honor and trust your 'UH-OH' feeling because it's always Right. Without fail, children immediately know and understand when we talk about their 'UH-OH' feeling. The 'vibes' you project work either for you or against you. The 'vibes' you get from others are equally as important and could alert you to a potential threat against your safety.

PROVIDING SAFETY INFORMATION

Now what does all this have to do with this month’s KidzClub newsletter? Well, lots actually. First of all, children are constantly being feed data from their invironment. Secondly, children are very intuitive, but our society does not encourage them to either follow or develop their intuition. This is unfortunate as intuition is an innate survival tool that we are all born with and I believe is our most important safety gift too! Since children are basically blank slates, if we do not proactively fill their brains with good information, especially about how to be safe, they will fill it up with information that is ineffective and/or wrong. Nature abhors a vacuum --- garbage in/ garbage out --- it's important to remember that if you don’t put good information in there, as quickly as information flows today, then someone else will. For something as important as safety training, don’t let them be victim to 'junk' information from TV, movies, video games, etc. More than ever with the influence of the electronic age and all it has to offer we must be extra vigilant and make sure we teach our children the very best safety strategies making them as safe as possible.

A DAUNTING TASK

As a parent, do you feel overwhelmed and simply unsure of exactly what you need to teach your children? Do you even feel uncomfortable with what your parents taught you knowing that it may or may not be applicable today? Well, don’t feel alone, because many parents feel that way. Many parents can't even operate a computer as well as their 5 year old! But don’t let intimidation be a factor that scares you and imobilizes you. Remember that until you have some experience doing something, everything is hard to do. It is no different teaching your children about safety. You can rest easy now, because as previously stated in past newsletters, we have created an incredible SAFE KIDZ KIT that has everything you need, including internet software, CD/ID’s, etc. to make your job a whole lot easier and actually even fun. Give your child the gift of safety and help us help you make the world a whole lot safer, starting with your children. To read more about the SAFE KIDZ KIT and to purchase one for each of your children, visit our product page at www.KSEG.org/product.htm.

Mark Spencer, M.A., S.A.F.E.

© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.

August 2006 Newsletter

BACK TO SCHOOL

August/September means summer is over and school has either just begun or will be beginning soon for most families. Whether your child is starting school for the first time, is returning, or even if your preschool child is just starting daycare, it’s essential for parents to prepare them to be as safe as possible. Preschool to middle school children in particular need to know some very important and necessary basic safety safeguards and strategies. Many working parents have times during the day where their child may be without or with limited adult supervision. So I have listed some age appropriate Do’s and Don’ts to help prepare you and your child to experience an enjoyable and safe new school year.

DO’S :

• DO make sure your child knows their address, home phone number and Mom and Dad’s cell numbers.
• DO create and map out SAFE neighborhood routes (include several alternate routes) between school and home.
• DO create SAFE houses (trusted friends, neighbors, family) approved only by Mom and Dad where your child can go in case of an emergency if neither of you is around.
• DO make sure your child has been taught and knows how to call a 911 operator in case of an emergency (see July KSEG newsletter for instructions).
• DO make sure your child knows how to exit your home and/or any other building in case of an emergency (see July KSEG newsletter for instructions).

DON’TS:

• DON’T allow your child to go to the homes of people whom you are unfamiliar and/or don’t trust.
• DON’T place your child’s name on the exterior of any clothing, backpacks, lunch bags, etc. (Predators use any ‘hook’ available to make contact with your children. We all respond to our name when it’s called, especially children. Don’t ever allow your child’s name to be visible to a “Don’t No”).
• DON’T allow your children to be with a “Sorta No’s” and/or a “Don’t No” alone in your home without a SAFE adult present.
• DON’T allow your child to be on the computer (web or chat-rooms) unsupervised and/or without permission.
• DON’T ever make any assumptions about your child’s safety. Always prepare with multiple safety strategies for a variety of emergencies.

These are a few things to think about regarding your child’s safety, especially younger children. Raising ours and our children’s safety awareness and creating safe environments is a 24/7 responsibility for parents. Sometimes we might simply feel overwhelmed, especially when we see a disturbing or upsetting news report on the TV, web or in the newspaper.

At KSEG, we are continually researching the latest and best safety strategies to make us all safer in our changing daily world. Although the majority of people in the world are trustworthy, the unfortunate fact is that we still have a segment of our society that will cause our children harm. Our mission at KSEG is to make your job as parents easier when it comes to your and your family’s safety. Our KIDZ safety programs and SAFE KIDZ kits have been designed with the most state of the art safety strategies and tools to make your job a lot easier! These complete and comprehensive safety programs and kits are age-appropriate safety information. They have been created to make assimilation of the information quick and easy and empower our children with action strategies.

Contact us to book a KIDZ Program (which can be given as a fundraiser too!) near you and/or consider the purchase a SAFE KIDZ kit from our product page.

Have a great school year and remember to email me: Mark Spencer, mark@kseg.org, with any questions, ideas or safety stories you would like to share. We would love to share safety testimonials each month with all our subscribers.

Definitions:

“Don’t No", Someone you 'don’t know'.
“Sorta No”, Someone you just 'sorta know', like a neighbor, coach, teacher, cashier, friend’s older sibling, even a relative, etc.

Mark Spencer, M.A., S.A.F.E.


© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.

July 2006 Newsletter

IMPORTANT EMERGENCY PROTOCOL FOR CHILDREN

This month’s newsletter pertains to two basic ‘Need to Know’ safety protocols that every parent absolutely must teach their children regarding home fire safety emergencies and 911 emergency calls. As soon as a child is able to verbally communicate clearly with us, they are also able to understand and take simple instruction. Without basic, simple and clear instructions including roll playing/rehearsals, we cannot assume that a child will be able to respond effectively in emergency situations. Federal laws require schools to have fire drills and all buildings to have both clearly accessible and marked exits. But how many of us have planned or discussed home exit emergency strategies, let alone even thought about what we would do if we had such an emergency? I frequently survey women at our safety programs to see how many have discussed emergency home evacuations with their family members and am amazed at how few actually have done so. So, let’s all put this on an immediate ‘TO DO’ list and create some family emergency plans today!

FIRE EMERGENCIES

Every child from at least age three (if not younger) is able to comprehend and perform basic tasks given simple and clear instructions, especially when rehearsed, performed or roll played as a game. First, draw a simple floor plan of your home and highlight all exits in RED showing all the possible escape exits, windows included. Next, bring your child to all of them so they have a physical experience of seeing them and being there next to them (even the obvious ones like front doors, back doors, etc.) Remember the famous Coach Bear Bryant from University of Alabama? He started every football season off with both new recruits and returning players showing them a football and started his training with, ‘This is a football.’ Always assume whatever information you are sharing with your children has never been heard before, even if it has. And remember that repetition is the mother of learning.

A child needs to know that if a door is blocked or cannot be exited, a window can be used to escape and if the window is locked, it can even be broken to create an exit. Be sure your child knows that in an emergency it's OK to crawl out a window to get to safety. Also, do not assume for example a child would know how to unlock a locked window without being shown. Roll play and rehearse by actually letting them unlock a locked window and crawl out to safety. Make up different emergency scenarios and have them perform home drills just as they do in school fire drills. Create alternative escape routes, plan B, plan C, etc. to get them thinking about what to do if plan A won't work. Have roll play situations where you now block an exit they used in a previous drill making them have to get creative and think about alternative exits to get to safety. They need to know how to exit their home in any emergency that may arise that requires a fast escape.

WHAT DEFINES AN EMERGENCY?

It’s very important that your child knows exactly what defines an emergency.

EMERGENCY: A serious situation, occurrence, unforeseen crisis or a combination of circumstances than happens unexpectedly, (usually involving danger) that requires or calls for immediate action.

I recommend that you also research from your local fire department or Google tips on the web on how to safely exit a burning house, how to deal with smoke, flames, etc.

EMERGENCY 911 CALLS

All children need to be taught how to call 911 on a variety of types of phones (even a rotary dial phone as their grandparents may still have one!). For very young children, it might be a good idea to draw an enlarged phone dial pad on a piece of paper to introduce them and teach them about the number locations. Use toy phones if they are available and let them practice on them. Make sure your child is familiar with and able to use all types of phones; wall, desk, cordless, rotary dial, cell, etc. It’s even a good idea to take the batteries out of your cordless and cell phones and unplug others to let them practice using the actual phones.

CALL INSTRUCTIONS

Your child needs to memorize and be able to clearly recite their Name, Street Address, and Home Phone Number. Knowing each parent's cell numbers or knowing where they are written down and easily retrievable in case of an emergency is important and valuable too. Instruct your child that when they are talking to the 911 Operator they need to: Stay Calm, Speak Slowly and Clearly to the 911 Operator. Make sure they know they must stay on the phone and that once a 911 Operator knows their address/location and the emergency, that they have help on the way. Also, as an alternative to dialing 911, make sure your child knows that they can simply dial 'O' for Operator and ask for a 911 emergency Operator.

REHEARSAL/ROLL PLAYING

Rehearse frequently so your child knows this important information by heart. Set up some potential emergency scenarios and let your child practice some 'What If'' scenarios (these might include things like; Grandma/pa has fallen, Dad/Mom Brother/ sister won’t wake up, Mom’s choking on something, etc.). Teaching children proper emergency responses about potentially life threatening situations does not create fear, it actually empowers them with knowledge. Instead of being immobilized by fear now, they now have a learned response that enables them to take action immediately.

GIVING OUT HOME ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER

Be sure it is clear to your child and that they understand it is OK to give out their home address and phone number to the 911 Operator. Since you have taught them that you should never give out this information to "Don't No's" (someone they don't know), it might be confusing unless you are absolutely clear about this important distinction. Giving out this information to a “Don’t No” is the exception only when it is a 911 operator or an authorized emergency person such as a uniformed policeman or fireman in an emergency situation.

SUMMARY:

• Develop emergency home escape routes and practice them just like they do in school.
• Instruct your children on how to call 911 and how to give the operator the FOUR critical pieces of information the Operator needs: NAME, PHONE NUMBER, LOCATION/ADDRESS & PROBLEM/EMERGENCY.
• Make sure your child understands exactly what constitutes an emergency and that information never given out to "Don’t No’s" is OK only within the context of an emergency.
• Rehearse emergency procedures routinely with your children.
  

For additional safety tips on preventing accidental injury, visit http://www.usa.safekids.org/, an international organization with over 450 coalitions and in 16 countries.

Be sure to visit our products page and consider the purchase of a SAFE KIDZ KIT for each of your children. Our Kits contains all the necessary important information and tools every parent needs to help create both a safer home environment and safer kids. We just made the whole job of child safety a whole lot easier for you!

Mark Spencer, M.A., S.A.F.E.

© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.

June 2006 Newsletter

Protecting our Children

Children are precious gifts that bring such incredible joy into our lives. In addition to joy, they bring a tremendous responsibility to us as parents, who early on provide them with 100% of their needs: they depend on us to teach them about almost everything in their lives. As they grow and mature, they become less dependent and more independent and interdependent. As they mature from infancy, they go through stages where we must teach them age-appropriate information about relationships, right from wrong, ethics, the birds and the bees, living safely in the world, etc. Throughout a child’s life, we are their primary source of modeled behavior, and the means by which to learn about life.

WHAT HAPPENS IN NATURE

If you think about it, without fail, every single parent in the animal kingdom teaches their young about dangers and predators in their environment. It is either instinctual, learned, or both, but certainly necessary to help protect and insure the safety of their offspring. If the young in the wild are not taught basic survival skills, quite simply they will not live very long. For humans, it is not really that different, except that we are not (in general) preyed upon for food. Predators in the human world are deviants that look to take advantage of our children and rob them of their innocence and sometimes their lives.

EVERYTHING WITHIN OUR MEANS

We simply cannot afford to do anything less than “everything within our means” to provide our children with the very best safety education and strategies available. It is, however, a daunting task and challenge to gather the best and most up-to-date safety information in complete and comprehensive age-appropriate formats. We cannot assume, nor depend on our schools or TV programs to do our work for us. Additionally, information and education needs to be on-going. Even as our children become young adults, we need to continually share the latest and newest safety information available as we learn about them ourselves.

Predators today are both masterful and manipulative and have available to them technology that simply did not exist when we were children. Many parents are both naïve about and intimidated by computers, and even the complexity of our own cell phones. These are the everyday tools of predators and they know how to penetrate the sanctity of our very own homes to reach our children. John Walsh, of “America’s Most Wanted”, in a recent TV interview referred to the Internet as a “virtual game reserve” for the child predator/molester. Unfortunately, these tools have made the job of accessing our children easier and they are here to stay.

VIGILANCE VERSUS FEAR

We cannot, nor should we live in a fear-based state or pass on that fear to our children. Animals in the wild learn about predators and do NOT live in fear, rather they learn to be alert in their environment, to be vigilant and pay attention to their surroundings. We could say that the animal parents empower their offspring to be safe with the awareness and safety strategies they are taught. If an animal is capable of being empowered in these ways, we should certainly be able, and in fact need, to empower our children within our own daily environment. However, certain parenting strategies and education we learned from our own parents (that were modeled to us as children growing up) are not necessarily effective in today’s environment. For instance, the home computer, Internet, and chatrooms were not even an idea years ago and now they are a permanent part of everyday life.

In addition, the concept of “Stranger Danger” is not only obsolete, but also totally ineffective. A child’s brain, since it has not fully matured, does not function like an adult brain and simply cannot understand the concept of “stranger”. A child meets many new people almost daily, often while they are with their parents, who may be friendly with them. Who then is a safe “stranger” and who is not? Is a child to live in fear of all such “strangers”? What is a parent to do here?

COMPREHENSIVE, AGE-APPROPRIATE SAFETY

Well, after nearly 3 years and thousands of safety programs presented around the country to women, providing the most up to date safety information, teaching the latest and best safety strategies and offering the best quality safety products available, we created an “awesome” children’s program. Concerned parents asked us if we could provide the same comprehensive, quality safety programs for their children, and after extensive research we have made available a Kidz Safety Program, which includes the ”Safe Kidz Kit”. For ages 4-12, we offer age-appropriate safety strategies and skills in modules that children learn and integrate immediately. Our program teaches safety strategies and skill sets to empower children without being fear-based. These new skills bring about a confidence and new awareness of behaviors that alert children to something or someone in their environment that seems “wrong.” Parents, we’ve made it easy for you to provide your children with the best safety information available by creating this complete and comprehensive program!

UNIQUE AND AFFORDABLE

No one else offers anything like it. We designed the program to be learned in an interactive, live setting and then to be continued at home with you and rehearsed periodically. We have included necessary items like a DNA/dental/sniff kit, moisture proof shoe tags, 4 important Internet software programs, Internet “contracts”, a study workbook, important “must-know” statistics, etc., and most importantly, a state-of-the-art, wallet-sized compact disc ( a “CD/ID” ) that stores vital information, including pictures and even video capability of your child. Not only that, but the program is very affordable, and you can help your favorite organization (PTA, Girl/Boy Scouts, band, cheerleaders, soccer, little league, 4H, etc.) or church present the program as a fund-raiser. Contact us at seminars@KSEG.org, or call tool free at 1-800-318-8037 to inquire about, or schedule a Kidz seminar.

We are also currently expanding nationally, looking for both Trainers to present our programs and Coordinators to book programs, so if you would be interested in exploring this opportunity with either WSEG or KSEG, please email us: jobs@WSEG.org or jobs@KSEG.org.

An important safety tip for all parents:

Should your child become lost or missing, contact the police IMMEDIATELY! Unlike adults, there is NO time period that must pass before notifying the authorities. Additionally, you need to provide the police with necessary vital stats about your child and a recent picture. Time is of the essence and the first few hours are critical. This is not a time to be fumbling for this information and pictures. Invest in a Safe Kidz Kit and have this important information literally at your fingertips.

Mark Spencer, MA, S.A.F.E.

© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.

May 2006 Newsletter

Cell Phone Safety -- Must-Know for Parents

Cell phones have become a part of our everyday lives. Not only are our adult daily lives busy and hectic, but so also are our children’s, with schedules full of swim meets, soccer games, extra curricular activities, jobs, etc. Cell phones have gone from status symbols in their early days to being ubiquitous. Cell phone companies even have family plans to help us keep our costs down while helping us to keep in touch via the airwaves. The Yankee Group estimates that nearly 2/3 of U.S. children ages 10-19 already have cell phones! (The U.S. is certainly not alone either. It is estimated that 80% of high school and 25% of Jr. High students in Japan have cells, the majority of Britain’s 7-16 year olds have cells as well as 75% of teens in Scandinavia).

Cell phone safety concerns have mostly been focused around driver safety, but in Europe and Japan cell phones have been linked to harassment and sexual exploitations of both children and adults. Driver safety is still and should remain a real concern, since the distraction factor while driving and talking with or without a hands-free calling device is very high (40% of the brain’s visual cortex is engaged which severely limits one’s attention to the surroundings).

Parents need to talk with their children about proper and safe use of cell phones. Cell phones, like the Internet, have literally put the world in our children’s hands. On a positive note: a cell phone is both a great communication and safety tool. In addition to keeping up with friends, a child can use it to check in with parents, respond to parent’s calls and phone for help in an emergency. While some parent’s may still perceive it as privilege, it has really become a necessary modern-day tool to help us maintain and keep us in communication with our children, especially when they are out at night. (Important side note: I frequently speak on college campuses and am always met with an overwhelming response from female co-eds who think they are actually safer talking on their cell to a boyfriend, parent or roommate while they are walking to or from some destination. Remember, the visual cortex is engaged and you cannot be 100% focused on your surroundings when talking on a cell! Additionally, it is a false sense of security thinking that you will be able to tell whoever you are talking with that you are in danger and have them get help to you. It simply won’t happen. Rather, use your cell when you get into a building or in a locked vehicle to call someone to let him or her know you are now safe. When walking, give 100% of your attention to your surroundings, it’s safer!)

Cells offer a host of options: pictures, Internet access, music downloading, digital imagery, etc. You can instantly transmit photos from cell to cell via e-mail, or to websites, even record moving videos. The latest 3rd generation high speed networks are making it practical to download graphics, photo and video along with sound and text! A color screen means that your child can look at the same type of graphic content available on the ‘fixed’ Internet from home. A built-in digital camera also means that your child cannot only see inappropriate material, but can send it as well. Adults and children alike need to be extremely cautious about the way they use this technology, especially when sharing digital photos.

It’s even possible to post pictures instantly to the web for all to see. By accidentally pushing an incorrect button one can send a child’s image, cell number and mobile email address to the wrong person. Some gyms have actually banned cell phones in locker rooms because of concerns about inappropriate photographs.

Predators cannot only send messages to kids, but they can also call them to arrange meetings. Children can be accessed by phone while away from home and are particularly vulnerable since they can be out of their parents’ supervision. According to Childnet International, in Europe it is quite common for a child predator to ‘groom’ a child on the Internet and then contact them via a cell phone to arrange a face-to-face meeting. Authorities are seeing the same behavior with predators here in the States as well. The user of a cell phone is not necessarily anonymous either because of caller ID and that means that calls and text messaging whether sent or received are providing important proprietary contact information.

In Britain, a survey conducted by a child-advocacy organization found that cell phones appear to be the most commonly abused medium with 16% of teens receiving bullying or threatening text messages, followed by 7% who have been harassed in internet chat-rooms and 4% via e-mail. If your child experiences harassing calls or text messages, consider calling your provider and getting the number changed.

Recently the FTC has mandated that phones be equipped with ‘geo location’ systems designed to make it possible for others to pinpoint exactly where the phone is located. The main purpose of this system is to allow 911 operators to locate cell phone callers in case of emergency, but this also means that with planned commercial uses of this technology, businesses can offer location-based products and services to cell phone users. While privacy safeguards will be built in, this means that they will also be able to be defeated. These products are currently hitting the market place and available now. Adults and children need to be educated about the proper and safe use of these controls so they can’t be used for harmful or wrong purposes.

Last but not least, there is the issue of cell usage costs. A child can easily run up incredibly high bills if they don’t completely understand the parameters of usage and stay within purchased plan limits. Make sure charges related to all aspects of usage, including free/unlimited usage (weekends and nights), text messaging, web access, ring tone/ music downloading, screen savers, etc. are fully understood, and contract with your child about it’s usage and limits. One option is to get them a prepaid phone service that operates on prepaid dollar limits.

An important safety note: Even a phone that stops working due to non-payment or a prepaid phone that has run its dollar limit will allow 911 calls for emergencies.

Openly communicate with your children about safe and responsible cell usage. Remember that the cell phone is an integral part of our daily lives and when used properly is both a valuable and necessary tool that provides a vital lifeline to our loved ones.

Mark Spencer, MA, S.A.F.E.

© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.